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ADHD masking at work

From the outside, a masking ADHDer at work can look impressively put together. Calm in meetings, articulate in writing, reliably delivering. From the inside, it can feel like running a sprint to stand still.

Jonathan Barker7 min read

What masking actually looks like

Masking is the quiet work of hiding the bits of ADHD that don't fit the room. Suppressing the urge to interrupt. Rehearsing sentences before saying them. Building elaborate prep rituals so that a thirty minute meeting doesn't unravel.

It's not dishonesty. It's a survival strategy that most late-diagnosed adults have been refining since childhood.

The hidden cost

Masking is expensive. It uses the same executive function fuel that you need for the actual work. By 3pm, a lot of high-masking ADHDers are running on fumes and don't know why.

It also creates a strange loneliness. Your colleagues are responding to the version of you that you've worked very hard to present. They've never met the rest.

What helps

Selective unmasking. One trusted colleague, one honest conversation, one meeting where you let yourself think out loud. Small acts of being seen as you actually are.

Roles that play to your wiring instead of against it. Environments that value output over performance of output.

You don't have to throw the mask away. You do get to choose, more often, when you wear it.

Coaching

If this resonated, we'd probably have a good conversation.

Coaching is one way to turn this kind of recognition into something practical.