Why I thought I was lazy for years
Lazy is one of those words that gets handed to ADHD kids early and quietly absorbed for life. I carried it for decades before I had any reason to question it.
Effort you can't see
ADHD effort is often invisible. The hour spent trying to start. The five false starts on an email. The mental gymnastics required to convert a clear intention into a single action.
From the outside, none of that counts. From the inside, you're exhausted before the work has technically begun.
Output isn't the same as effort
For ADHD brains, the relationship between effort and output is non-linear. You can pour hours into something and have little to show for it. You can also produce a week of work in a single hyperfocused afternoon.
Measuring yourself only by output, on a neurotypical curve, will always make you feel like you're underperforming.
You weren't lazy. You were running a different engine, on the wrong fuel, with no instruction manual.